By Josh Ortiz (AKA Dear Dad Bod Dom), Brand Ambassador for XR Brands
In recent years, the adult toy industry has seen a surge in demand for fantasy-themed products, with creature dildos emerging as a particularly notable trend. These uniquely designed toys, inspired by mythical beasts, aliens and otherworldly entities, cater to a growing subculture that blends eroticism with imagination. Driven by advancements in body-safe materials, 3D modeling, and niche online communities, the popularity of creature dildos reflects broader shifts in sexuality, fandom, and personal exploration. That said, selling through to your customers is key, so here are some tips to increase sales and promote products accordingly.
PLAYING THE SOCIAL MEDIA GAME
With Creature Cocks specifically, you’ve got to understand your market, and think about how we shop as consumers. There are 170 SKUs in the Creature Cocks line alone. One. Hundred. Seventy. My recommendation? Every single month, order an entirely new set of creatures. These are able to be shown on your store’s social media accounts, Instagram and Facebook especially. X, as a platform, is far less censored, but not designed for store or customer engagement the same way Meta platforms are.
The reason Creature Cocks are able to be shown on social media without getting flagged is because they, for the most part, are non-phallic. Now don’t get me wrong, there are a few with glans-esque tips. The secret to Al Gore’s Rhythm for Meta? Hold it from the tip. Just wrap your hand around the entire mushroom shaped head – because that’s the line for the internets, let’s say on one like the Swamp Monster, and you’re able to display the rest of it without being flagged.
What I am telling my brick-and-mortar retail partners, as I’m training in their stores, is to post a monthly ‘Feature Creature’ theme or fantasy/selection change. Make a big freakin’ deal about it on social media, and do it at the same time every month. Whichever time of the month, in your community, you notice sales are the best. Some areas, like apartment or college-heavy areas, the first week of the month is a no go, especially with rent due. Check your sales stats, and just go by feel during your shifts, to gauge when the average highest-yielding day or week is, and set that as your Feature Creature announcement time.
OUT WITH THE OLD. IN WITH THE NEW
One of the most common sentences I hear on the road is, ‘The Hell Hound was our biggest seller!’ And that’s exciting! But, I still see it on the wall and I heard the word was. I am laser focused on that word, and here’s why; everyone in your community that was interested in the Hell Hound has already come in and bought it. There are now hounds that thrust and vibrate, and knot sleeves that turn your dong to dog. If there are new Creatures to pick from every month, the same people that came in for the first wave will come in for every one after.
If we think about our regulars that are toy, not supplements, customers – they come through every six-to-eight weeks to see what’s new, maybe grab something different. Especially folks within the fetish/fantasy/BDSM scenes. They’d have new Creatures to look at every single time they came in. So be not afraid to phase out the old and bring in the new, SKU by SKU, and give your customers the option and permission to keep on buying and collecting.
This truly can apply to any brand. I spend an awful lot of time in brick-and-mortar retail stores. A lot of time. I see one big problem no matter if I’m in a big city or small town – in a 20,000-sq.-ft. mega store or a small strip mall boutique; our lines, all lines, keep growing, but the slat wall of a building stays the same. It’s impossible to expect that you carry both the old and current, and leave a peg for new products. It’s ridiculous and impractical.
With every brand, the big hitters anyway, see what’s new they have to offer instead of having to make a choice about where on a wall with zero room can I put this new dingle or find the dongle that it can replace, especially if it’s a slow mover. I’m not saying replace one brand with another. I’m saying see what new innovations your favorite brands have, replace your older items with newer releases, while maintaining the look and flow of your walls.
OVIPOSITORS: THE NEW FRONTIER
So let’s start with what an ovipositor is outside of our industry: a tubular organ in which an insect or fish deposits its eggs outside of their bodies. Ok? Ok. Breaking it down beyond biology simplifies it to a tube that passes eggs. I feel like you can see the picture we’ll be painting start coming together in your head. Every day we fall just a little further from the grace of the almighty, and I’m just here to both weigh down and cushion the load.
Translation: an ovipositor is a dildo (human like or fantasy) that can expel an egg into a hole, in a similar way that ejaculating dildos expels lube in or on a body. Breaking it down even further? Most simply put – egg-laying dildos.
Ok but why? Well, why the hell not? Fantasy is just that, endless possibilities born from abundant imagination. The idea of breeding, being bred or being a human pie o’ creme, is not a new one. The expansion in interest to different forms of what being bred looks and feels like outside of the scope of human (liquid vs. solid internal depositing).
The where depends on the type of egg. ONE question matters more than any other regarding the egg, itself. Is it dissolvable? Is it made in a mould with a fully dissolvable food item? If the answer to that is NO – it is 100000% not anal safe. In fact, if you lose anything up your ass larvae related, let it be my number cause you can’t say I didn’t warn you, and ain’t nobody but the ER needs to be on your agenda. If it is not 100% fully dissolvable into a gel or liquid form – it is for vaginal insertion ONLY! Never ever ever anal.
If your customer buys an ovipositor that clearly only has vaginal eggs, it will 100% not hinder the sale to just include the little gem of booty saving bliss: YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN EGGS!! Safe ones, at that! Advise your customers to pick out some really cool silicone ice moulds. You know the ones I’m talking about – circles and skulls and squares and little legos. All it takes is gelatin (agar agar for our vegan friends) and water. Find the right ratio to achieve your desired firmness. Remember, it has to be firm enough to survive the insertion without ending up like a watermelon at a Gallagher show before it ever gets through the rear entrance.
Once your dissolvable eggs are set, you can use them in any ovipositing dildo! If you feel full enough, then it’s time to start working your way down faster than your natural body temperature will allow, laying a heating pad on your lower tummy will cause the egg to melt and be far easier to expel from the body.
Josh Ortiz (AKA Dear Dad Bod Dom) is the Brand Ambassador for XR Brands.
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